it's not goodbye, but zai jian

Between the time I committed to this China journey and the time I hopped on a plane to China (minus the 2 week orientation), I had 6 weeks... 6 weeks to pack up my house, pack up a classroom, get rid of my things, and to say goodbye to friends and family who had been such a huge part of my life.  And that was hard.  I had so many people to see and not enough time.  I scheduled as many lunches, dinners, and coffee dates as I could.  I arranged a "goodbye party", so people could come to me when I just couldn't go to them.  It was hard to leave you friends and family, and frankly I can't wholeheartedly say that I know what it feels like to be "left behind".  Because I was the leaver, not the leftee...Though it was hard, I was hopeful, because I knew there was a pretty good chance I'd see you again one day.  And for a lot of you, that one day is in just a few short weeks!!  Man, am I excited!
 
And here I am again...the "leaver".  And last night, I attended another "goodbye party".  This party was...  so good, so encouraging, uplifting, enjoyable, but oh so hard all at the same time. It was a different kind of hard than before.  I've known these people for less than 2 years, yet it feels like a lifetime.  There's something about living, working, eating, and breathing with Christians day in and day out that challenges you... well challenged me...stretched me, and grew me beyond measures. But believers, expats, friends who have become family, facing this "goodbye" was a different kind of hard because we have this bond... this "If we were in the States, I'm actually not sure we would have chosen to be friends... but over here, I need you and you need me" bond.  And the "I know you're not perfect, but His grace is sufficient, and so is mine" bond.  And the "call me, Skype me, text me, knock on the door unexpectedly anytime" bond.  The "what's mine is yours" bond.  The "I'll come to you" bond. And the "We're all in this together" bond. This "goodbye" is a different kind of hard because frankly, I don't know when I'll see you again.  I don't know if I'll be back... and if I am, I'm not sure you'll still be here.

But this is not goodbye.

I want to leave you with these words.  I said them last night at the goodbye party and I want to say them again.

" I wish I could personally thank each of you for all you have done, but  I’m certain I wouldn’t be able to stop.  If you provided meals during my recovery, I thank you.  If you carried me up the stairs or down the stairs, I thank you.  If you prayed for us, hung out with my daughter, or asked if I needed anything, I thank you. If you opened your home to us, cooked us a meal, or invited us out to dinner, I thank you.  If you donated to the cost of airfare, hotel stays, and the exercise bike… I didn’t have to pay a single mao… and I thank you.   I can say with all sincerity that I have learned something from every single one of you. I am an observer, a people watcher, and I’ve watched you, and I’ve learned from you.  The way you love your students, I learned from you.  The way you interact with the Chinese, I learned from you.  The way you treat your spouse, raise your children, love your roommate, I learned from you.  The way you respect and respond to authority, I learned from you.  The way you disciple, mentor, and lead people, I learned from you.  The way you interact with parents and the SYIS community, I learned from you. The way you love God and love people, I learned from you. 

In just a few short weeks, as far as I know, we are heading back to where we were….  Same church, same house, same community, and possibly the same school.  We are going back to where we were, but not to who we were.  God has used each of you to shape and mold us, to cultivate our character, widen our perspectives, broaden our horizons, to learn what it means to serve and to be served, to love and to be loved.  And for that, I thank you, we thank you, from the bottom of our hearts.

This is not goodbye, but Zai jian… which simply means "see you again" .  If not on this side of heaven, we’ll see you on the other.  We love you guys!"