the curse of the sticker chart...

Sticker charts are great and simple motivators for a kindergarten classroom, for a 2 year old who is potty training, for a 5 year old who still struggles to sleep in her own bed.  Sticker charts have been a sanity savor during many phases of Emily's childhood.

And she absolutely loves doing the sticker chart.  She will even find her own reasons that she needs a sticker chart because she loves the challenge and the reward.

BUT this morning, we retired the sticker chart idea...

Because although it's been great in so many ways, it's also been not so great.  In a lot of ways, she's getting the implication that she has to "earn" recognition, love, affection, rewards, etc.  She is also leaning toward the implication that she only has to "do the right thing" if there is a reward involved.

And that's not how I want things to be around here.  That's not how Jesus did it.  So, this morning... ( I got this idea from a pastor a while back who experienced the same thing with his daughter, but for some reason I'm just now implementing it)...I took her half-full sticker chart and filled it up.  All the squares are full.  And then some. Stickers everywhere.

And I showed her that her sticker chart is the story of the Gospel.  Jesus loves her.  Mommy loves her.  And she didn't even have to do anything.  When He died on that cross, our sticker charts were filled.  We have so many stickers that our chart can't hold them all.

And today, we are going to get ice cream, or go to the playland, or ice skating, whatever Emily chooses... not because she deserves it, but because I love her.

God Loves Single Moms

"God Loves Single Moms".  Don't you love the title?  I know I do!  I know God loves me.  I know He loves me as His child, as Lea, as a person...  but I've never heard those words...  God Loves Single Moms.  It's GREAT to hear, isn't it!?  If you aren't a single mom, I'm sure you know one...  and I encourage you to share this.

"God Loves Single Moms" by Teresa Whitehurst is a FREE e-book!  All you have to do is click on the link, sign up, download, and read it.  5 minutes tops.  Well, worth it.  I'm only on chapter 3, and I can already tell you, it's worth it.

My favorite thing about this book is that in each chapter, Teresa has a blurb she calls "The Bright Side of Single Mothering".  Nice ring to it... I think.  And since it's free, I'd like to give you some of the "bright sides"!

1.  You can design and create a home atmosphere to your liking, and you can creatively influence your child's environment with independent decision-making.

2.  Your child is likely to develop capacities for responsibility and independence because he or she recognizes that you are a single parent.  (Note:  This will at times seem highly doubtful, judging by his or her apparent obliviousness to your limitations!  However, in general, you'll notice this trend toward self-sufficiency as your child gets older.)

3.  In many cases you can be happier because there is nobody to "bring you down" with pessimism and negativity.  This can be a huge gift to you as well your child.  As the "mood leader" in your family, you can set a positive, upbeat tone for your children.  They will likely, as a result, gradually become more positive and optimistic themselves if you've been modeling a realistic, yet hopeful perspective.

4.  Your home can be more orderly because you are not waiting for your spouse to do his share or vice versa; you have more clarity regarding whose doing what, and often it's simply easier to know that you'll take care of tasks yourself without arguing or begging a spouse to help.

5.  You can design your own career and lifestyle more independently without arguing or interference.

6.  Even if your children's father discouraged religion or spirituality, your faith and beliefs will provide your children with a positive perspective and foundation.

Hope you are encouraged today.  HE LOVES YOU Single Mom.

    It's not free, but I'd also highly suggest checking out

   My Single Mom Life by Angela Thomas.  It's a GREAT read!

what's it been like teaching my own child?

Oh man...  where should I start?  My expectations and reality had a crash collision right off the bat.  And to be honest, we've been off-roading all year.  Before I continue, I give the disclaimer that I understand that Emily (and I) have been (and still are) in transition.  She's experienced culture shock and adjustments and sharing her Mommy with 21 other students.  I get it...  that's hard.

And so is teaching that.  And coming home to that.  And rarely getting away from that.  We still have more awake awake! mornings than "rise and shine".  A lot of days "I've had it" before we even get out the front door.  And "it" follows me, "it" follows us. 

There have been meltdowns just because it's time for Writer's Workshop, or leg-grabbing and pulling because it's time for Ms. Jones to go to a meeting.  There's been sneaky "let's ask the teacher's aid" because "Ms. Jones" said, "No."  There's been kicking and screaming in the middle of the kindergarten carpet, while 21 other students are staring... with their ears covered... wondering why she's crying.  And none of us know...  not even Emily.

And what do you do when "changing your clip to yellow" is more punishment for me than it is discipline for her?  And "waiting until we get home" just recreates the scene all over again?  And "going to the bathroom" just doesn't work?

And then there's the evil temptation of comparing...  comparing her work, her progress with 21 other students.  Oh, that's such a dangerous temptation.  And it's been defeating.  And discouraging... when I allow the temptation to overtake me.  Her writing hasn't been "that great".  And she's not in my top 2 reading groups.  And math has been hard for her.  AND I'm her teacher.  The continuous cycle of evil temptation...  to wonder where I've gone wrong.

Man, it's been hard.  Yes, I've learned a lot about her, like I'd hoped I would.  Her learning styles, her strengths and weaknesses.  Her joys and her frustrations.  But man, I've learned the same about me.  My strengths and weaknesses...  joys and FRUSTRATIONS.  Frustrations I didn't know I had, frustrations I didn't know existed, frustrations I wish I'd never discovered...

TWO MOMENTS THAT HAVE MADE IT WORTH IT:

Last night, she wrote a sentence.  Without my help, without my inspiration.  All on her own.  Capital letter, spaces, in the lines, and with a period.  I cried.  I'm not kidding.  I cried.  You have no idea HOW HARD I, she, WE have been working on this.  And she did it.  She got it!

This morning...  at 7:30 a.m. ON A SATURDAY MORNING, on her own initiative, she got out her new Tinkerbell Math Flashcards that my sister just sent her. Math frustrates her.  BUT this morning...  she got her flashcards out of the box.  She (on her own initiative) used the addition strategy she hates, despises, and absolutely refuses to use in class...  and wrote all the answers on the back of the flashcards!  CORRECT answers I might add.

It may not seem big, but with the year we've had... IT'S HUGE.  And those 2 moments...  have made it all worth it!  And I'm clinging to that...

the travel bug...

The Travel Bug...  we have it!  We LOVE to travel!  I've been on 2 plane trips and 3 train trips just since we've moved here.  I've traveled more in the past 7 months than I probably have in the previous 20+ years combined. 

Though traveling in China isn't exactly simple and the train stations have been known to stress me out to my maximum capacity.  Carrying luggage and a 5 year old up and down hundreds of stairs just to get to our train just frustrates me when a simple escalator seems to be the simple solution.  Escalators are known in China.  I've seen them.  Why aren't they used more often?  Especially when luggage is involved...  I'm really not sure how the handicapped and elderly navigate... because this mom struggles on every train trip!  Thankfully, I am usually traveling with good-hearted, helpful people who seem to spot me as a "damsel in distress" right away.

But despite the chaos traveling presents, we still love it.  Maybe it's Emily's enthusiasm that spurs on excitement in me.  This child is soaking it up!  We had the privilege of traveling to Tianjin this week...  a 5 hour train ride away.  It was just a one night trip we took to go observe another Early Childhood Center within our company.  It was a super quick trip, but we still loved it!  I love the quality time I get to spend with Emily on the train...  Oddly, when no one else speaks our language, I feel like we are the only ones there sometimes.

Though I often miss the simplicity and slower pace of our Texas lifestyle, the travel bug is indefinitely deep-rooted in us!

On our trip, we got to see lots of friends we had met at our orientation in The States before moving over.  Emily had a great time playing with her friends!

Emily, Henry, and Kairis

my English daughter...

Moving to China, I expected my sweet Emily to pick up a little Chinese.  And she has.  And it's so stinkin' adorable...

But I never expected her to pick up a British-English accent.  We have a few English accents in our classroom and Emily thinks that it is just so fun to imitate her friends.

So she talks in her English accent ALL THE TIME.  She plays dress-up on the weekends and puts on an English fashion show.  She runs an English daycare with her baby dolls.  She asks her mommy for snacks and drinks in her English accent.

And the other day she ALMOST threw an English fit!  But...  the real Emily eventually took over.  ;)

my daddy's footsetps...

So, this was the 3rd year in a row that I have had the opportunity to coach basketball.  I've kinda always wondered what it would be like...  but just didn't feel I could make the commitment until this year.


I had never coached anything before, but I've played basketball.  Oh, have I spent my days in the gym.  And I loved it!  My daddy was a basketball coach, and when I was younger, I loved to go with him to all the games.  When I was a little older, I took pride in being his little stat keeper.  And I felt so special when we took our daddy-daughter Wednesday night trips to Lubbock to watch the Raiders or Lady Raiders play.


Oh, I loved playing basketball.  But had no idea if I would enjoy coaching it.  So, this year... I had the opportunity.  Coaching basketball in China...  who would have ever thought!?


High school girls...  I'm not really sure how to relate to high school girls.  But I was one once.  So, I said yes.  We started practicing in November, and last month we traveled (by airplane!) to our basketball tournament.  This was a big deal for me because I had to leave Emily for THREE DAYS.  If you know us, you know that's a big deal for us both.  But I felt completely comfortable leaving her with my great friends.  :)  They are awesome.


Our first couple of games, I honestly wasn't sure what I was doing...  I'm not really a yeller or a screamer...  And I couldn't talk to the refs because, well....  my Chinese just isn't there yet.  So, I kinda just stood there.  I tried to act like I knew what I was doing.  But I really wished that I could just play instead.


But by the end of the tournament, all my moments spent by my daddy's side paid off.  I was comfortable.  I was yelling and screaming with excitement.  And I got a friend who could speak Chinese to talk to the refs for me.  :)


And my awesome team pulled off a 3RD PLACE!  Woohoo, go Tigers!


I took a class at church once that talked about "putting our sin to death" or the mortification of sin.  And when we are trying to overcome our struggles, we need to replace our habits with something that "brings us life"-or vivification.  And basketball...  is definitely one of those things! 

I will definitely be doing it again next year!

Chinese New Year!

So... despite the fact that this post is looooong overdue, and the fact that I wasn't actually in China for the first 2 days of Chinese New Year, and the fact that I am not all that knowledgeable about this holiday, and the fact that my camera most likely was "taken" by airport security and I don't have wonderful pictures for you....  Chinese New Year still deserves a post!

We returned from the Philippines on day 3 of "Chun Jie" (Chinese New Year or Spring Festival), and we were warned that we probably wouldn't sleep for the next 2 weeks due to fireworks!  I was a little bummed that we missed the initial introduction to this holiday, but by the end of the 2 week period, I felt completely included. :)

The Chinese schools took the entire month of February off for this holiday, so it is a very BIG deal!  I was actually in a July wedding a couple of years ago and our bridesmaid dresses came from China...  We had to order them by January due to the company being closed the entire month of February!

So, back to the holiday.  There are fireworks all day, everyday for 2 weeks.  And safety isn't really a precaution.  Okay, actually, safety isn't even in the Chinese New Year handbook.  Emily and I watched people set them off right outisde our window several times!  Luckily we live fairly close to the ground, so they just shot right past our window...  but I'll admit, I would be a little apprehensive if we lived toward the top.

In the midst of it all...  the 8 a.m. firework shows and us trying to get back into the routine of school, trying to get to bed early...  we really enjoyed the holiday.  We somehow slept through it all and it was fun to watch Emily sprint to the window with a glowing face every 5 minutes of every evening.  I have a windowsill in my room that we padded with foam and pillows so that we could sit back, "relax", and enjoy the 2 week fireworks show.

Another tradition are lion and dragon dances during Chun Jie, as well as lantern festivals.  We didn't make it to a festival, but there was a Chinese group who came and performed a lion dance at school for our kids during "China Week".  The kids dressed up in their Chinese attire all week.  It was an unforgettable experience....  even without the pictures.