The next Saturday she is eating breakfast in her Korean hanbok.
And the next Saturday she dresses her doll up in a matching Chinese qi pao.
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She asks questions like, "Did you know in England they call the trash "rubbish" and the trashcan the "bin"?
And, "My ballet teacher was wearing a Buddha necklace today, should we pray for her?"
And, "Can I use chopsticks tonight, please?"
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She can identify more flags, speak more Chinese, and has more friends from more countries at age 6 than I do at age... well, you know.
She's a Third Culture Kid (TCK) in the making.
I don't know a lot about TCKs, but I've been to trainings, and seminars, and read books, and have done some research, and what I have learned... I have found interesting and beneficial, and maybe you will, too.
Or maybe when you see my daughter again after 2 years and she randomly speaks to you in a British accent or she melts down just because you want to take her picture, you will have a slight glimpse as to why... and you can politely tell her you will put the camera away for another day... in your awesome British accent. :)
TCK DEFINED
“A third culture kid is a person who has spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside their parents’ culture."
The way I understand the term "Third Culture Kid" is the first culture is the child's passport country (The States), the second culture is the child's current country (China), and the third culture is the international culture (in Emily's case; the international school consisting of many cultures who have all left their passport countries (1st culture) to come to China (2nd culture) and can relate to the international experience (3rd culture).
- Citizenship-Child's passport country
- Geography-Everywhere she's lived
- Relational-Relates to others who grew up internationally and shares a similar experience
Family becomes "Home".
*Belonging is NOT geographical, it's RELATIONAL, and that is KEY!
*Unless you are a TCK yourself, your family is "cross-cultural".
*Your developmental years tell you what "normal" is.
THE EVOLUTION OF A TCK
a.) Cultural Sponge
-soaks up the culture
b.) Cultural Chameleon
-can blend in with the culture as much as a foreigner possibly
can
c.) Hidden Immigrant
-look like they belong, but they don't
d.) The Global Citizen
-accepts that Hidden Immigrant isn't bad and can thrive in any
country.
-globally fit
-many TCKs never reach this stage
*Emily is definitely at the Cultural Sponge stage---such a fun stage!
BENEFITS OF BEING A TCK
-global acceptance
-rich friendships
-less prejudicial
-language development-can often understand languages they don't even
speak
-belonging is based on relationships
-international education
-gifted observers
CHALLENGES OF BEING A TCK
-cultural identification-how do I identify?
-legally you are American, culturally you are a TCK
-extended family relationships
-grief/loss-experience friends leaving often
-sense of place
-developmental fall backs
-educational gaps
*Your child's home culture is YOU!
WHAT THEY NEED FROM YOU
-Become a "History Teacher"--tell them about YOU!
-Study, understand, and accept TCK issues.
-Make a distinction between "culture" and "citizenship".
-Preserve primary passport country.
-Help them answer the question, "where are you from"? (True but
short answer.)
-Ask them questions!
Want to learn more? Go to: www.libbystephens.com .
I'll leave you with just a "strolling through the mall" conversation Emily had with my friend, Amber recently:
Amber: "Wouldn't it be cool if you continued taking Chinese and you became bilingual, speaking 2 languages?"
Emily: "I already speak like 8 languages."
Amber: "You do!? What are they?"
Emily: "English, Spanish, American, Chinese, Korean, TEXAN, British, and um....CUTE!"
Adios for now. :)
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