count it all joy...

"Count it all joy my brothers when you face trials of various kinds."  James 1:2

This is one of my favorite verses...  when everything is going well and I want to encourage others.

But in the midst of this whole knee fiasco, it's been hard for me to love this verse, to like this verse, and to even trust this verse.

I honestly feel like this knee thing will never end.  It's been ongoing for over six weeks now.  I had surgery yesterday.  And I should be done, right?

Wrong...

The physical therapist today recommended an MRI on my left knee now.  BUT the doctor doesn't think I need it...  he just thinks I need therapy.

But the therapist doesn't want to give me therapy until he rules out damage from the MRI.

So... the therapist can't order me an MRI without the doctor's approval and he won't give me therapy without the MRI.

So, I'm stuck again...  in the place where I've been all along...  doctor's don't agree, and I don't know who to listen to.

I'm in tons of pain.  I miss my sweet Emily like crazy.  I want to be at school, but I'm here...  in this trial.

And I'm supposed to count it all joy.

...for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James1:3,4


I know these verses, I believe these verses, but man it's hard to truly live these verses in the midst of a trial.

But deep down inside, I count this all joy because I know that:

He causes everything to work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.  Romans 8:28

He turns ashes into beauty.

He uses my pain for His glory.

And because... He's already there.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgFLjlzbSp4&feature=player_embedded

thoughts on community

com·mu·ni·ty

   /kəˈmyunɪti/ Show Spelled[kuh-myoo-ni-tee]
a social, religious, occupational, or other group sharing common characteristics or interests and perceived or perceiving itself as distinct in some respect from the larger society within which it exists.

THOUGHTS AND EXPERIENCES

During the past few years, I've heard lots of teachings on what it means to live in biblical community.  I've been involved in several Community Groups and Life Groups and they have all looked drastically different depending on people, location, common interests and walks of life.

The one thing all of these "communities" have in common, however, is that these aren't just groups, or something to be a part of once a week or once a month.  Community is a way of life. 

COLLEGE GIRLS COMMUNITY

When Emily was 6 months old, we moved to San Marcos and I went back to college.  In all honesty, I was scared to death to move away from family and friends and embark on the single mom college student journey alone.

But I wasn't alone.  The Lord graciously surrounded me with numerous girl friends who helped out with Emily, saw our needs, loved us to pieces, and lived life with us. I didn't realize it then, but these girls were my Community.

"And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all. "  1 Thessalonians 5:14

SAN MARCOS COMMUNITY GROUP

The next year, there were several San Marcos peeps who attended our church in Austin, but were looking for community in San Marcos.  We met every Tuesday, fellowshipped, encouraged, and shared about what was going on in our lives.

But it didn't stop there.  These people were available during the week to live life alongside each other.  I never felt obligated to wait until next Tuesday to see them again or talk to them.  These awesome brothers and sisters were my Community.

"And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near."  Hebrews 10:24-25

FIRST YEAR OF TEACHING COMMUNITY

My first year of teaching was probably my easiest in the respect to teaching, but was all very challenging in trying to figure out how to balance and find the energy to teach 5 year olds all day and come home to a 3 year old.... all by myself.

But I wasn't by myself, at all.  People were everywhere.  People from school, people from church, people down the road, and people on every country road between my house and school.  These people often saw my needs before I did, and were always available.  They intentionally lived life alongside us.  They were my Community.

"Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality."  Romans 12:9-21

BELOW THE SURFACE COMMUNITY

My first 2 years of teaching, I also attended a group study at my church every week.  Our purpose was to get to the root of our past and present struggles, trials and tribulations.  To be transparent in hopes of finding healing and restoration while offering hope and encouragement to others.

This was the In The Basement kind of community...  The TrueFaced kind of Community.

This kind of community is hard to find, hard to develop, but is the kind most of us long for.

Man, you guys were hard to leave!  So glad I am still able to be connected even with an ocean between us.

"Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. " Galatians 6:2

"But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin." 1 John 1:7


FACEBOOK COMMUNITY

Yes, Facebook Community!  You guys have been awesome, especially since we moved Somewhere Over the Rainbow.

I feel closer to a lot of you now than I did when we were in the States!  Your prayers and encouragement have played a huge part in keeping us going, picking us up when things are hard, and keeping us connected to things that are familiar and comfortable.

You really have been a great community and have lived life alongside us even from a different country!

"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." Proverbs 17:17

AUSTIN STONE COMMUNITY

Let's just say I miss you guys SO MUCH!  When I was in Beijing a couple of weeks ago, prepping for TWO KNEE SURGERIES, (which I still can't believe I almost did)!, I was really, really discouraged and disappointed.

A friend from The Stone posted my prayer need on The City, which is similar to a Facebook Network for our church.  The next day I woke up with over 50 emails of encouragement from brothers and sisters I didn't even know!

You guys inspired me and encouraged me more than I can possibly articulate.

You were just the type of Community I needed in that moment.

"And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself." Matthew 22:37-40

CHINESE COMMUNITY

I have learned a LOT from the Chinese Community.  In China, community isn't really an option. Like I said before, it's a way of life.  In China, it's a means for survival.  You need each other here.

My eyes were really opened when I thought I might be having knee surgery here in Shenyang.  In the hospitals here, the nurses don't really take care of you.  Your family does.

And I was trying to wrap my mind around what that would like for me here.  People would need to bring me meals and water, etc.  The hospital would just provide me a bed to sleep in and the rest would have been up to "family".

The Chinese... they live life alongside each other every day.  It's not a choice.  It's not a group.  It's a way of life.  The Chinese...  they get it.

"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken." Ecclesiastes 4:9-12


MY CHINA COMMUNITY

During this ridiculous knee saga (which is still ongoing), my China Community has just graciously overwhelmed us with love, encouragement and support.

They are here for us.  All the time.  When we need food, they give us food.  When we need company, they visit.  When Emily needed to get out of the house and I couldn't walk down the stairs, they took her to get some fresh air.  When I couldn't get up the stairs, they carried me.  When the medical world sucked every penny out of my hands, the Lord used my China Community to provide.

When we didn't know what to do, they prayed.  When I cried, they encouraged.  When I couldn't do things I needed to do, they stepped up.

And as I get ready to give this doctor thing another go tomorrow, they are right here alongside us cheering us on.  These guys are my Community.

“You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people's feet. “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven." Matthew 5:13-16

Community- a way of life.

 

"As long as your life involves Truth and People, you are on the right track."  ~Tommy Barnett

looking through wheelchair-colored glasses...

Granted, I was only wheelchair-ridden for a few days, my eyes have been wide opened, I've gained a new perspective, I've encountered much frustration, and have learned to appreciate the smallest of small things.

My first wheelchair encounter was in the airport as we got ready to fly out to Beijing.  The handicap service in the Shenyang airport is phenomenal.  They went above and beyond to do everything they could to help me!

When we got to the gate, we realized I had to WALK down some stairs to the tram which takes us to the airplane.  This was a problem considering they made me check my crutches at the baggage claim.

The guards spent about 15 minutes brainstorming a plan before they decided to take me through a back way down a few ramps and elevators and wheel me out to the tram.  They then lifted me (in my wheelchair) onto the tram and it drove out to the airplane. 

Once we got to the airplane, we had to climb up the stairs to the plane.  Once again... dilemma.  It took them a while to decide how they were going to do this, but they teamworked it and carried me (in my wheelchair) up the stairs.

I just couldn't fathom the thought that they had never faced this dilemma before.  Surely that have, right!?

Once I got up there, the wheelchair was too wide for the walk-way and I didn't have crutches, so I had to hobble to my seat.  This was so painful and frustrating and embarrassing because everyone was staring!

On the way back, the handicap service in Beijing didn't even begin to compare.  We were pretty much on our own.  Thank goodness I had a GREAT friend to go with me!

FRUSTRATIONS

-People stare at me anyways because I'm a "waigouren" (foreigner), but I was stared at a LOT!
-My independence was pretty much stripped completely!  It was very frustrating not to be able to do many normal everyday things on my own.
-People stare instead of help.  When we would struggle to get up a ramp or on a sidewalk, some people would just stare and see how we were going to figure out this dilemma on our own.
-China is not handicap accessible hardly anywhere...  I don't know how the handicap do it!

APPRECIATIONS

-On the other hand lots of people SMILED at me!
-Many people offered their assistance.
-If there was a ramp (which we only found one that I can recall), I was led to it immediately.
-The guy at the hotel who ran to me every time the elevator door opened and led me down the ramp and said in his best Chinglish, "Every ding going to be ok," as he gave me a high five... well that just makes you smile!

NEW PERSPECTIVE

-Be grateful for what I can do.
-Appreciate those who help with what I can't do.
-Smile at those in need.
-And offer a hand every once in a while.
-Reach out.
-Look for someone who's in need.  We are everywhere!


 "He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us."  2 Corinthians 1:4

knee update...

Disclaimer:  This post is extremely boring BUT you may just get a kick out of everything I've gone through to make this post possible!

BACKGROUND INFORMATION

I tore my right medial meniscus playing basketball in 2002 and had arthroscopic surgery.  I haven't had any trouble with it since... until now.  So hey, I got 10 years out of the deal.

WHAT DID I DO!?

This time, something in the back of my right knee popped during a Tae Bo work out and I stopped the workout immediately.  Though I felt quite a bit of discomfort the next 10 days, I was still able to be pretty active--hiking, walking up stairs, etc.  Around day 10, I could barely walk and decided to stay off of it for a few days.

I elevated it, iced it, and stayed in my apartment for an entire week and it got worse.  I used crutches to walk around my house, so I wasn't using it much.  During this time, my left knee also became very painful and I was hardly able to walk or stand on either.  Standing was really difficult.

FIRST DOCTOR'S VISIT

In China, there are not doctor's offices, just hospitals.  So if you have a cold, you go to the hospital.  I still struggle with that terminology.  My heart always skips a beat when I hear someone went to the hospital...  and it turns out...  their nose is just a dripping faucet, that's all.

So, I went to the hospital.  And I ordered my own MRI.  Because I just guessed that's what I needed, and that's how things are done here, if you want them to be.  So... I've done this before, right?  And I've worked in an MRI facility.  Figured I had some torn cartilage or ligaments, and in radiology school, I learned that you use MRI's for that.  So I ordered myself an MRI.

I went back 2 days later to see the orthopedic doctor who was going to read my MRI.  So, picture yourself at the DMV.  I had my number.  And I was just a number.  Understandable in China, I guess.  But frustrating.  So there were several of us standing in line at the doctor's door with our MRI.  We knew who was next by looking at screen with our numbers on it.  Each person walked in and was out in less than 5 minutes!  I just couldn't believe it.

So, I walked in with my 3 translators. :)  We were a good team by the way!  And the doctor had absolutely no interest in looking at my knee.  He basically looked at my films and said I may have some cartilage damage.  He did say my medial meniscus was fine, but could not rule out a lateral meniscus tear. He told me to rest it for a couple of weeks...  which I had been doing and it obviously wasn't working.  My friend had to ask the guy to look at my knee!  Still--diagnosis--- you are okay, go home and rest...

Considering I couldn't walk, I obviously was not satisfied with these results.

2ND DOCTOR ENCOUNTER

One of the Western family doctors here was very kind and came to my house and did a physical knee exam.  This was very painful and caused my right knee to swell and hurt for the rest of the evening.  He suggested that I either see an ortho doctor (which I'd already done ), or immobilize my leg for a few weeks.

But school is starting soon, so I had to keep trying!

3RD DOCTOR'S VISIT

-After I called all over the country, seriously... I called Hong Kong, Korea, Shanghai, and Beijing!   I ended up visiting a knee specialist in Beijing who did x-rays on both knees.  He concluded that I had cartilage damage in both knees on the backs of my kneecaps.  He also said my knee caps are crooked and my Left one is higher than it should be.  He wanted to scope both knees and smooth out the cartilage on my kneecaps.

My problem with his diagnosis is that none of my pain is related to my kneecaps.  I have had severe pain in the backs of my knees, especially when straightening my legs and standing flat footed (I've found myself walking on my toes).  Also, the outer tendon/ligament in my Right knee hurts severely when I turn my foot inward or pivot.

I was scheduled for TWO KNEE SURGERIES and somehow was convinced that I needed them!  I'm very fortunate I had a day in between my visit and the actual surgeries...  which I really tried to push up a day!

I really wasn't at peace about the whole situation, so I sought a...  4th opinion?

4TH AND 5TH DOCTOR ENCOUNTER

I Skyped with an orthopedic doctor who lives in China but is currently in the States and he was able to discuss some of my options and give me his opinions on things.

Three hours before I went in for pre-op, a surgeon from my church in Texas Skyped me.  I didn't know him and was SO GRATEFUL to be able to make this connection!  I was able to send him my MRI and X-ray images.  He advised me not to do the surgery and to start with a Cortisone shot and oral steroids.

This was a really HARD DECISION to make 3 hours before going in for surgery!  Especially since I was supposed to fast.  I was trying to squeeze in my last bite before knowing if it was actually going to be my last bite.  haha

I definitely didn't feel at peace about the surgery after my Skype conversations.  I finally had 2 doctors agree on something, so that was comforting!  So, I canceled the surgeries, and we had a friend look for airplane tickets for us.  We were almost certain we couldn't get out that day.  Our friend called back immediately and asked if we could get on a plane in 2 hours, so we did!

God was saying, "Get out of there!"

6TH AND 7TH DOCTOR'S VISIT

I went to a small Western Clinic here in Shenyang, hoping to get the Cortisone shot.  It took 2 visits, but I finally got the shot yesterday and am feeling much better today.  He also gave me a couple of exercises to do, so I started those today, as well.

My concern is that the Cortisone is only a temporary relief.  Since no one was able to rule out a lateral meniscus tear and many of my symptoms lean toward that way, I'm not sure what to do to avoid hurting it worse.  I will be going back to the States during Christmas break, so if I could hang on until then, that would be great.

I walked without crutches and knee braces for the first time today in about 2 weeks, so that was a GREAT FEELING! 

I am SO THANKFUL for EVERYONE who has been praying, encouraging, cooking, babysitting, listening, visiting, checking in, translating, escorting, making phone calls, and carrying me up the stairs! 

I COULD NOT DO THIS WITHOUT ANY OF YOU!

School starts in FOUR DAYS, and I will be there!

another day on the couch...

So, it's been 5 days since I've left my house.  I popped the back of my knee a couple of weeks ago during a Tae Bo workout...  it was painful, but actually didn't bother me for about 10 days.  But it hit me last week, with a limp, and then felt strained, and then the other knee began bothering me because I was shifting all the weight to it.

I tore my meniscus my senior year of high school, and have a pretty big instinct that I re-tore it.  I'll find out on Wednesday when I go for an MRI (waiting until then for insurance purposes.)

So, until then, I am house bound and mostly couch bound.  My good knee is beginning to hurt more than my bad knee.  That's no fun.  So, I sit.  The fact that I live on the fourth floor has a lot to do with it, but it also seems to be the wise thing to do....  I'd prefer not to hurt it more than it already is.

I'VE BEEN HERE BEFORE

These past 5 days have taken me back to June 2006... when I was in the hospital on bed rest right before I had Emily.  That time of rest was so crucial to the the Lord preparing me for what was ahead.  He stilled me, made me listen, and prepared me as much as possible for what lied ahead.

And though this is different in so many ways, it's familiar to me.  He's doing that again.  Making me be still, making me listen, and preparing me in lots of ways for my year ahead. 

Granted, I'd prefer to be in the classroom, setting up, rearranging furniture, hanging bulletin boards, but He has other plans.  I have no idea how all of that will fall into place (especially if I have surgery), but He does.

So, sitting on the couch all day, isn't all that simple when I have a large "to-do" list.  But He's using it, and I'm grateful that I can recognize that right now.

OVERWHELMED... IN A GOOD WAY

In the past week, I have been overwhelmed with Community.  The Lord has used the Community around me to fulfill our every need so far.  One family had Ace bandage wraps, another pain medicine, another crutches.  A friend found knee braces, and bought groceries.  People are constantly calling to check on us and see how they can help.

They've even gone as far as to schedule bringing dinner to us and taking Emily out on playdates.  It really is overwhelming to see how quickly these loving people came together and how open their hearts are.

Emily has handled this 100 x better than I could have possibly asked for.  She is Mommy's little nurse and graciously responds to every thing I ask her to do. 

ONE MORE DAY

After this, I have one more day of sitting on the couch, until I hopefully get some clarity.  Surgery in China is definitely not something I'd prefer, but we'll cross that bridge when it gets here... which could be very SOON!

We would appreciate you lifting us up if you think about it.  I know that He cares about every detail, and am trusting that He is working them all out behind the scenes.

Because you know...  I start back to school in TWO WEEKS! 

But He knows that. :)

Tong Wei...

A couple of weeks ago, when Emily was at camp, I had the privilege of traveling outside the city to an orphanage.  I've been wanting to go there all year, but it is by no means convenient to get there or convenient to get in.  There is a medical team that travels out there once a week, so I was privileged to get to tag along.

My main purpose for going out there was to feed Tong Wei, a 2 and a half year old baby boy, diagnosed with CP, immobile, and was only able to eat through a tube.  He needed more nutrients, so I had planned to try to spoon feed him, which had only been done one other time and took a little more than an hour to feed him 12 spoonfuls.  He needed much time and attention which just wasn't being provided.

Once I got there, the nurses said they had just fed him (only formula), so I just held him for hours.  And touched him, and stroked him.  He was dirty, he was sick, but he was beautiful.  I had a toothbrush and some silky and fuzzy fabric to stroke him with for stimulation.

I brushed his face with the toothbrush for at least an hour.  And he loved it.  He only liked it on the left side though, not the right.  And he would attempt to cry if I would stop, but didn't have the strength.  His body lay practically lifeless, as he attempted to cling to the fuzzy fabric, but his grip just wasn't quite strong enough.

These three hours with Tong Wei broke my heart, fulfilled my heart, and changed my heart.

Over the next couple of weeks, I lifted this little guy up often, and tried to coordinate ways to go out and visit him.  But Emily was done with camp, I didn't have the transportation or the expenses to taxi that far, or didn't have the language to try to explain to the guards what I was doing there, and the list of excuses and hindrances go on...

They were legitimate excuses and hindrances.  But still, I wish I would have tried harder, and found a way...

Because Tong Wei passed away last week.

And I drown in the sadness this morning as I think of this loss.  I think about how I wish I could go out there everyday and love those kids with all I have.  And when I have the opportunity, you bet I'll take it.  And when I can't, I'll hope that others can, and trust that He is Sovereign over everything and everyone...  even the "least of these".

I also revel and rejoice at the joy to the end of Tong Wei's suffering and I know that he is in a far better place than the Shenyang Orphanage.

Rest In Peace, Tong Wei.  I will see you again one day, Little Buddy.

transition, transparency, and other TRs of my first year overseas

Next month marks a year of our lives in China.  I have completed my first year of teaching overseas, Emily completed Kindergarten, we didn't drive each other tooooo crazy in the classroom, and in less than a month, we will begin round 2 of our lives in China.  Absolutely unbelievable!  This has been the longest, quickest year of my life.  We have had a busy, but enjoyable summer so far.  Now that the busyness is starting to die down...right before it ramps up again... I am able to process my thoughts, emotions, and experiences of our first year here.

I came across some notes in my journal about "transition" from my first day of orientation right before moving here and I was honestly surprised at how well my first year lines up with these notes!

TRANSITION

"Stepping Into The Water"  (Principals of Transition from the Jordan River Crossing-Joshua 3)

Life Transitions:
1.  Going from a familiar place to a dangerous unknown...
2.  Facing obstacles that seem impossible to overcome...
3.  From the wilderness to the Promised Land

*I currently find myself in the middle of transition #3...leaving the wilderness and catching glimpses of the Promised Land.

Here is an example of one of the many transition models that were given to us...  I feel this one nailed it for me.

Dashed Expectations--- Despair--- Bitterness/Anger--- Spiritual Crisis--- Blaming/Grumbling---Embrace God's Blessings---Acknowledge His Sovereignty---Set Your Face Against Rebellion---Go Deeper Into God---See The Unseen


Dashed Expectations

I'm not exactly sure what I was expecting coming to China... but I am sure that my reality and expectations did not line up...  not even close. 

During our new staff orientation, we were given this example of the importance of focusing on bringing our expectations and reality closer together:

The presenter had a GIANT, life-sized rubber band and 3 volunteers.  The person in the middle of the rubber band represented "us".  The person pulling one side of the rubber band represented "Reality" and the person pulling the other side of the rubber band represented "Expectations".  Obviously, the further Reality and Expectations grew from each other, the more tension there was on the band...  and believe me, the person in the middle of that GIANT thing was tense! ;)  But the closer Reality and Expectations came together, the less tension there was on the rubber band, and the person in the middle was a lot more relaxed!

That visual has stuck with me this year and I have been really diligent in focusing on bringing the 2 together.  I wish I could say the 2 have met in the middle...  not quite there.  But they are definitely walking toward each other.

Despair

In all honesty, I can say I went through this phase for a really, really LONG time.  I endured more hopeless days that hopeful, more miserable than happy, and more dark than light.

Bitterness/Anger

I encountered multiple occasions where I was just angry and wasn't sure why.  I found myself "on edge" a lot.  "If the copier breaks one more time, well, I'm gonna..."  "If one more Chinese person tells me my daughter is too cold even though she can barely move because of the numerous layers she has on, I'm gonna..."  "If one more person touches her or takes her picture, or...., I'm gonna..."  Okay, I was angry a LOT.  Fortunately I never "I'm gonna anything", but my insides were boiling with anger and frustration on numerous occasions.

Spiritual Crisis

During the dark periods, I can run TO Him or FROM Him.  And there were many times where everything in me wanted to run away.  I went through streaks where I was just plain spiritually dry.  I wanted to isolate, I wanted to go to sleep, I wanted to watch movies, I wanted to go home...  I had to be intentional on getting out of the house, turning off the movie, and avoiding the bed.

Blaming/Grumbling

All my misery and unhappiness and hopelessness was everybody else's fault.  I found myself complaining ALL THE TIME.  And though, I was aware of it, it seemed I couldn't stop even if I tried.  I went through a really long period where I felt like everything that came out of my mouth was negative.  I consider myself to be a pretty optimistic person, but I didn't see that side of me much this year.

Embrace God's Blessings

I got to a point where I knew I had to redirect my focus.  I really had to be intentional on focusing on the positive.  I still do.  It doesn't always come naturally, but I try to be really diligent in having an attitude of gratitude.  When I notice that Emily and I are both being really negative, we will play the "Thank You For...Game" until we've named at least 10 things we are thankful for.

Acknowledge His Sovereignty

This one is HUGE for me.  I am a big believer in the Sovereignty of God.  And believing that He is Sovereign, knowing He is Sovereign, and looking back on how He opened doors and brought us here...  there's no way I can deny His Sovereignty.  Plus, you have to be a huge believer in the Sovereignty of God to endure those taxi rides time and time again!

Set Your Face Against Rebellion

I remember the day that this phase changed it all for me.  I made the decision that nothing... NOTHING was going to stop us...  maybe derail us, delay us, confuse us, frustrate us, but NOT stop us!  There were definitely obstacles that stood in the way, caused a few detours and roadblocks, but "His mercies were new every morning".  Because "if He is for me, then who can be against me?" (Rom. 8:31)

(Ephesians 6:13-17)---This verse is on our wall next to our dining room table...  we've turned it into a rap song and we chant it often...  it reminds me that we are constantly in a battle and we always need to be prepared.

Go Deeper Into God

This is where I am now and I can't tell you how good if feels to FINALLY be here!  Getting to know Him more and more everyday.  Learning to listen a little better.  Spending more time with Him. Feeling His Presence again. 
See the Unseen

I know I am approaching this stage.  I've gotten a glimpse...  Today, I experienced this... just a little.  I can reflect on a few "see the unseen" scenarios...  And I have no doubt that those "glimpses" make it all worth it.  When I feel defeated, those "glimpses" encourage me, inspire me, and help it all to kinda... "make sense".  But I look forward to watching the unseen completely unfold before my eyes.  I know it's comin'...

TRANSPARENCY

I wish I was that person...  the one who moves overseas and has all the cool stories, makes remarkable differences, changes the world, and has it all together.

But that's not me...  I'm the girl who cried more than I laughed, struggled more than conquered, and spent more time "surviving" than "thriving".

I was helped more than I actually helped, I learned more than I actually taught, and I was changed more than I actually changed.

TRIALS & TRIBULATIONS

Before moving to China, I had become extremely independent.  In so many ways.  Independence came naturally to me and it was a means of survival for us.  But moving to China changed that.  And boy was that hard!

The first couple of months were the hardest for me because my independence was completely stripped from me!  I didn't know where to go to buy school lunches for Emily, or toilet paper, or water.  And if I did, I wasn't really sure how to get there.  And even once I got there, I needed help.

I was having to run errands and learn things when others were available to help me... on their time, not mine.  I found myself calling people multiple times a day for help.  And oh, I HATED IT!

Then there was learning to teach my own child amongst 20+ others, and learning how to grocery shop, and how to cook here, and how to get my child to eat, and how to kindly fight off the attention and the pictures, and how to communicate, and how to get from one place to another, and how to get to the school bus on time (it was so much harder than you think!), and how to teach 7 different cultures, and  how to just plain SURVIVE!

There are several trials and tribulations that stick out to me, but the one that sticks out the most is our transition back from the Philippines Service Trip back in January.  The trip was beyond incredible.  Changed our lives, rocked my world.

But coming back to China after that trip was THE HARDEST THING I think I have ever experienced in my entire life.  I don't think I can put into words what we experienced.  Call it culture shock, or fatigue, or cultural overload, or over stimulation, or temperature shock, or.... JUST PLAIN UGLY works, too.

Switching cultures was hard.  Very hard.  And it wasn't something I thought I needed to prepare myself for.  Going to the Philippines was fine, it was great, absolutely remarkable!  But at the end of our trip... when we were to that point where we just wanted to come home and sleep in our own beds... and we got home... and home just didn't feel like "home"... that's when it hit.  Hit HARD...

CHINA...  our new normal, our new home, our new culture.  Below freezing temps... after 10 days of swimming in the hot sun.  It was a tough pill to swallow.

We didn't leave the house for three days.  We tried.  We got on our 50 layers, stood at the door, tears streamed down our faces, I text my friends and told them we weren't coming, we turned around and went back to the couch.  We did this FOR THREE DAYS.

For some reason, I could not get out that door and face our new normal.  It was everything but normal to us.  Everything but home.  And, well, it was stinkin' COLD.

But every morning...  His mercies were new.

TRICKS & TRADES

Everything was chicken--The only way I could get Emily to eat anything was to tell her it was chicken!  Otherwise, the poor girl would have starved.  Thankfully, we are past that now. ;)

Reward the Behavior I Want--Emily acted out a lot in the beginning... at home and in class.  So, rather than focusing on the negative attention, I rewarded the behavior I wanted.  Praised her for doing the right things, used sticker charts and reward systems... anything to focus on the positive!

Block the Picture--Emily gets her picture taken a LOT here.  And she DOES NOT like it.  Not one bit.  Sometimes she is so rude about it, it's embarrassing.  So rather than bringing attention to the situation, if I notice it before Emily does, I will intentionally stand in the way of the picture, so she can't see the camera and the camera can't see her.

Get In the Picture--Sometimes I miss the cue, and it's too late.  So, depending on her mood, I will try getting in the picture with her if it seems she will be up for it.  After all...  her smile makes the Chinese smile. :)

Smile and Nod--Sometimes I know what people are saying to me, and I don't like it...so when I find myself on the verge of frustration, I force myself to smile and nod before reacting in a way I'll eventually regret.

"Ting Bu Dong" (Chinese for "I hear you, but I don't understand you.")--And other times, I understand, but I just don't want to...  or know it would be better if I didn't understand...  so... "Ting bu dong" it is.

TREATS

We treat ourselves here more often than we normally would in The States.  Sometimes it's out of a complete search for comfort in this foreign place, something familiar, and sometimes it's just plain needed.

I usually get a 30 minute back massage EVERY WEEK.  It keeps the stress down, it's a scheduled "me time", allows me to recharge... and it's only 8 BUCKS! :)

We order McDonald's a LOT.  And they DELIVER!  Yes, little guys on their bicycles with their mini-sized McDonald's refrigerator thingy on the back of their bicycle.  They know my address... by heart.  Hey Emily likes chicken nuggets, and I don't have to cook.  Win-win.

There is a new foreign grocery store within walking distance from our apartment! It just opened a couple of months ago.  It is very EXPENSIVE, so we don't go often.  But if I absolutely NEED a Dr. Pepper or Emily NEEDS some Cheetos...  we will head that way.

Though He is our ultimate Comforter, these small things temporarily comfort us when the "goin' gets rough".

TRAINS, TRIPS & TRAVEL

Trains, subways, taxis, buses, foot...  these are our main means of transportation.  When taking these, I always face the conflict of time vs. money.  Obviously the cheapest way is the most time consuming and vise versa.  What's my preference?  Taxi...  blink my eyes 10 times, we will be there, and we didn't see a thing!  ;)

Trips and Travel have been an amazing contribution to our time in China.  We are very blessed and fortunate that we have gotten to travel as much as we have and I am and always will be forever grateful!

Places we've been this year:

Beijing (October Break),
Harbin-Ice Festival (Christmas Break),
The Philippines-Service Trip (Chinese New Year),
Wuhan (Basketball Tournament),
Tianjin (Early Childhood Center),
Guanmenshan (Spring Break),
ShanHaiGuan-Great Wall (Summer Break),
The Botanical Gardens (Summer Break),
Qi Pan Shan (Summer Break) 

TRAFFIC

So, we went from a little house in the country to an apartment in a city of about 7 million!  From Texas Heat to the Frigid North.  From a Public School to a Private School.  And yes... I'm gonna go with TRAFFIC was probably one of our biggest adjustments!

99% percent of my prayers this year were probably thrown up when we were in the dead center of Shenyang traffic.  And I honestly can't remember a time we haven't prayed before, during, after, (or all 3) when going out into the city.

The traffic is just...  busy... and chaotic... It's an orderly chaos though...  Just like Phoenix is a dry heat.

TRUTH

These are Truths that have inspired me, encouraged me, and allowed us to "keep on movin'"...

The Truth Is:

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. " (Jeremiah 29:11)

The Truth Is:

"But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.  (Isaiah 40:31)

The Truth Is:

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”  (Joshua 1:9)

The Truth Is:

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  (2 Corinthians 12:9)

The Truth Is:

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."  (Galatians 6:9)

TREASURE

"But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal."  (Matthew 6:20)

Here is a GREAT kid's song for teaching children about "Treasure in Heaven"!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VXoiDIORgk&feature=player_embedded

TRUST

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will make your paths straight." (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Despite all the trials and tribulations, the hardships, the darkness, and the challenges, we have also experienced glimpses of joy, we've learned a lot, grown a ton, and have been stretched beyond belief.  At the end of the day, when I lay my head to my pillow, I have that "peace that surpasses all understanding" and I know He has me right where He wants me...  and somehow... someway... that TRUMPS it all!

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." (Philippians 4 :12)