the hard stuff

THE QUESTIONS

Does her dad have blonde hair?
Does your husband have blonde hair?
What does your husband do?
Why aren't you married?
Why doesn't she have a daddy?
When is she going to get a daddy?

And the list goes on...  The questions aren't the hard part...  they're expected.  It's finding a way to answer them that's hard.  I have been asked these questions millions of times, and have probably answered them differently every single time.  No matter how hard I try to prepare or recite an answer, the questions always throw me off guard.

The questions get harder as Emily gets older, because she now understands the conversations. Therefore, these questions... lead to more questions.

I am slowly learning when an explanation is necessary or beneficial, and when a simple "yes" or "no" will suffice.  My first priority is to protect sweet Emily, so above all else, that's what I do.

  Mistake:  I use to dread the questions.
  Lesson:  The questions are coming regardless, so embrace them...  and move on.

THE MAN WORK

(Some of this is geared more toward single women in general, not just moms)

• fixing the garbage disposal
• lighting the furnace
• airing up the tires
• catching the mouse
• killing the scorpion
• assembling the new toy
• lifting EVERYTHING
• making ALL the decisions
• doing ALL the driving
• doing ALL the discipline
• hooking up the speakers
• replacing the electronics
• replacing the lightbulbs
• talking to the auto mechanic when I have no idea what he's talking about

And the list goes on...

  Mistake:  Doubting I could do most of this.
  Lesson:  Even I can catch a mouse.

THE LONELINESS

I'm not normally one to admit when I'm lonely.  In fact, this may be the first time, ever, that I've confessed that I have my lonely moments.

Sure there are the days I wish I had the companionship, the friendship, and just simply the company.

But the loneliest moments for me have been all of Emily's "firsts".  First word, first bite, first crawl, first step, first animal sound, first "I love you", first day of school, first cartwheel, first read word, first doggy paddle...  And...  the list goes on...

I am thankful that I have great parents and great sisters who are always there to celebrate with me when I call and announce Emily's "firsts".  But it's lonely when there's no one else to watch it with me.

  Mistake:  I've sulked in the loneliness
  Lesson:  He reminds me I'm not alone, and He sees it all.

"A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a Friend who sticks closer than a brother."