I spent the next 4 weeks lying in a hospital bed. I was on bed rest for an entire month, and wasn't even allowed to walk down the hallway to get a drink of water. I had permission to eat, sleep, and watch tv... and that was about it. I went from complete busyness to complete nothingness in a split second. And it was good for me.
I didn't realize He was all I needed until He was all I had. He used this month in my life to calm the chaos and to slowly begin to prepare me for the road ahead. He made me be still, and He made me draw near.
I strangely had a very positive attitude this month. The nurses and doctors commented often on my optimism and didn't understand why I wasn't just absolutely miserable. They quoted that most mothers were ready to go home by day 3, and I hadn't even mentioned or questioned it.
Truth was that I was safe, people were taking care of me, and people were showing me that they actually cared. Something I hadn't had up until this point.
He used this month to remind me of His great love for me.
And exactly a month from the day I was admitted, I was scheduled for an emergency C-section.
I became a mommy to a 4 1b., 12 oz. baby girl.
And I was as ready as I could be.
Mistake: I ran so hard, I fell.
Lesson: No matter how hard and how fast I run, I can't run from Him.
"Cause when I'm finally, finally at rock bottom, well,that's when I start looking up."
Matthew West
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